hey there

haven't been posting for a LONGGGG time. so i'll just make it up with a LONGGGG post.

have been thinking a lot the past few days.
BIG GOALS i must say that i've set for myself.

EARN LOTSA LOTSA LOTSA MONEY DURING THIS HOLS
get a 2nd part time job(pending)
save enough money to pay for a trip for my sis, mom and me to KL(even if it's just KL)
BUY AN ELECTRIC OVEN(so that i can bake lovely stuff for the children in church)

that's about all the new stuff with me. hahah

IT'S THE START OF HOLS
is it boring or is it just me.

OK I KNOW THE ANSWER. it's just me.

i am probably the ONLY one who is so boring. ytd was actually the last day of my exam at 1130. usually people go out right after that. but guess what? this boring person's life you're reading about went back home and used the computer from the time she reach home till 12.

i just want my work to start.

at least im getting money even if my life was a boring routine.

i just wonder. what have we(friends) turn out to be? alot of us don't even keep in contact. and when i actually take the first step out, our convo is just so shallow. i wished i was back to secondary school. i was alot closer to some friends. i had what i worked so hard for. my running. but i gave it up for Os and never made the effort to take it back again. which i kind of regret. when i was running, i think i was a better person. i wasn't so lazy, i worked hard to earn my progress, i was closer to GOD.

MY LIFE HAS CHANGED SO MUCH. i dunno if it's good of bad. but i know the world has separated me and GOD quite a bit. which is not good at all.

don't wanna grow up anymore. i see my uncle having problems cos he's retiring this year but wanna find another job so that there's still cash coming in. and my aunt(who's married to him) is just working part time also. i don't wanna end up like them. CAN'T I JUST MARRY A RICH GUY? i mean i worry about money from young. please dont let me worry about money when im old.

i cannot even imagine myself at like 25.it'll be damn sad if im not married by then. i'll be still working my ass off with no one to take care of me. HOW SAD.

OK COME ON MAN. IT'S THE HOLS.

CHEER UP

tired bug

i am SO reminded of why i ABSOLUTELY HATE working. i end up having tired bugs in me. even though i slept like close to 12 hours everday now. since there's no school. and i dont even do anything energy draining. I HATE THIS FEELING. im so tired everywhere. every single inch of my body.

DAMN IT

cont

OHH i forgot. what kinda made my day ytd was this cute guy! hahahha at work. but he wasn't like a part timer. he was with the florist people so didn't get the chance to like talk to him :( hahah but SO CUTE. hahah

work work

finally went to work like after dunno how long. too many things have changed. mainly people. banquet now is becoming more and more important. and i was pushed to do the chariman's table. which i didnt think i was up to. the chairman is very scary!!!!!!!! actually all serious business man and important people are. cos they socialise ALOT then when we, lowly servents, have to do all the menial things like clearing plates, which end up having to interrupt their very important conversations.

hate to do for these kind of events and kena the table that is all businessmen. it's nerve-rattling cos they can be happy at one moment then just because you wrong timing then very irritated with you. STRESSSSSS.

but prof Tommy Koh is one NICE man. i've only heard his name before and what a powerful person he was from my history teacher and it's no suprise. he is a man of character. no wonder he can go so far. probably the most polite person and full of just goodness in him. very cute. hahha cos he was the only person on the table to actually applause after the band played finish their piece. and it was sincere. could tell. and he talked to me. hahah im so honored. plus i think the sweetest part was when i saw him and his wife walking down the stairs going home. they were holding hands ok. SUCH A NICE GUY.

on the whole, i think yesterday was a pretty good day considering that the worst case senerio did not occur.

i pretty much improve a great lot on my 'public speaking' i guess. haha IM HAPPY :):):)

love is in the air, just not the kinda air around me

i just feel more lonely than ever with absolutely no direction and no one out there for me. im tired of this life.

post bbq with collegues

bbq wasnt like how i expected to be. i was like the guai-er ones. cos the rest smokes and drinks. YEA there were drinks. luckily i could escape it with excuse like UNDERAGE. they damn scary can. bring brandy, whiskey and vodka. if im not underage confirm force me to drink one lor.

so many things changed since the last time i've worked. now im really scared for sat. heard that for every little mistake they'll pick on you and DEMOTE you. WTH lah.

DEMOTE DEMOTE LAH. scared what scared. HUH! im sure i'll find another work place that values me more. HAHAHA

dunno lah. then today after meeting my collegue that i havent seen for like a really long time, i found out that she got together with this other collegue and broke up like after 4 months. and he was there at the bbq too. i didn't know what to say to comfort her lah.. just hear her speak lor. then she got drunk. and it was like damn out of control.

it was damn sad to see her in that state. it was so sad.
she was drunk when talking crap to my other friend then suddenly from the corner of her eye she was staring at the guy playing with this other girl and stopped talking immediately. after i found out the reason why she stopped talking, i quickly prompted to continue with her conversation. cos she doesn't want other people to know. and just quickly advised her to sit with her back facing the guy.

everyone seems to be moving along so quickly in life. what about me?
im still stuck in the same spot.

always so easily forgotten by people. i really wonder why sometimes.

was just reflected upon the journey home.
is my attitude really that bad? how am i as a person? why is it that i always get the feeling like people don't want to talk to me?

OK FULLSTOP.

YOU'RE THINKING TOO MUCH.

happy!

im so happy presentation is over! all my work was worth it man. hahha now comes the hardest part. trying to get myself to sit down and study. gonna study later in school. HOPEFULLY it's productive if not im like pretty dead for exams.

IM SO STUPID i even agreed to work on sat. that's like almost 2 days worth of studying gone cos i'll be so tired. should have just stood firm in my point of view where i don't want to work. i think they love to ask me to work cos they know i'll eventually say yes no matter what.

DARN. such a dumb stupid soft hearted person. get used.

GONNA HAVE A BBQ TONIGHT. with collegues!
OHHHH im like eating a hell lot less cos im so restricted by money. you totally cannot believe it. i skipp breakfast and dinner. sort of lah. cos my meals are at damn weird times. so i don't even know what to call them. I SAVED 2 DOLLAR YTD SOMEMORE. hahah first time even when im already eating so little.

NEED THE MONEY MAN :(

HOT SHOT

my goodness!!!!! the best show have came out. ITS THE BEST SHOW ANY GIRL CAN GET. hahah SO MANY SHUAI GUYS. and playing basketball.

WHAT BETTER SHOW CAN YOU GET???

HOTSHOT HOTSHOT HOTSHOT HOTSHOT.

the first episode is like BOOM. i cant wait for the rest man!!!

JERRY YAN
WU ZUN
LUO ZHI XIANG
WU ZUN'S BRO FROM ROMANTIC PRINCESS

SO HOT. hahahah AHHHHHHHHHHHH need more shows like that man

:) IM A HAPPY GIRL

CRAZY

i dunno what is wrong with me.

why is it that i choose to shut myself from my own feelings? until i can't take it and go crazy.

i need someone who can help me out of this.

interesting night

had a very interesting dinner last night.

it was as though i saw my dad.
almost.

but this was just worse.

imagine a typical ah beng. SERIOUSLY. a typical SINGAPOREAN ah beng.
who is a dad. with a typical ah lian wife
who has 3 kids
who all learn from them.

what is the result?

NIGHTMARE.

cos i was sitting alone for dinner then i took up a table for 4 what. so i usually share with others who need a place to eat also.

so happen that they came along and asked if they can seat. i was like ok. i mean so long you guys can fit in lah. i wont mind.

THEN they started shouting and scrambling around. goodness gracious me.

i probably will never meet people like them for another 17 years of my life.

the kids were cute too. except for the youngest. the way he eats is GROSS. he puts his spoon on the table and uses his hands to eat. then picking up the sponn when he need it. so unhygienic.

both his sister was cute though. they were like explaining why he was taking his sister's food. hahah DAMN CUTE CAN

ok.. back to today then. SOMEONE didn't reply my msg. irritating. anyway that person is not a guy. hahha

wanted to do some stuff today. BUT everyone has a date. HAHAH so im all alone now.
OH WHATEVER. hahah i can watch all the dramas i want and like study a bit. havent really gotten around the studying part.

actually ABBY asked me to go to NDP show with her. she got extra ticket lah... but i didnt want to go cos of the crowd. i'll like suffocate lah. hahha now i kind of regret it cos it's so boring knowing that everyone is having fun while you're at home. OH WELLS. what to do.

OHOHOH i didnt know that there's someone who is in my lecture group who stays at boon lay. i think so. hahha cos saw him board at boon lay. but weird thing is that he got off at outram. was thinking should i like talk to him. HAHAH but im not like NICOLE TAN. so i decided not to. maybe if i bump into him on the train like ALOT of times. hahah if not so weird. only thing i want to ask is like why he also so crazy choose tp when he stays just as far. HHAHAH

feeling lonely

why do i always feel like there's no one for me. losing contact with those i used to be very close with. i just hate this. no matter how hard i try to be closer to someone, to be a better friend, it never works out.

why is it that im always the one making the effort?

only one is always and forever there for me, God.

feng le feng le

i just got really hooked onto this song. it has the nicest melody to it.

卓文萱 疯了疯了

七六五四三二一
倒数一句我爱你
我的世界因为你
而开始透明
就让我沉沉睡去
从此不想你的名
越到夜里你的笑容
就越清晰
疯了疯了睡不着
我的心噗通的跳
我的世界因你
全部颠倒
醒着睡着都在笑
爱情戒不掉
你应该明了
你应该知道
疯了疯了睡不着
你的笑有多美妙
我的世界请你
紧紧抓牢
你的爱到底多少
我也不知道
你应该明了
你应该知道
一二三四五六七
追我的人很多滴
我的世界因为你
而全面封闭
多说一句我爱你
又不会要你的命
想要生气
却不敢随便生气
疯了疯了睡不着
我的心噗通的跳
我的世界因你
全部颠倒
醒着睡着都在笑
爱情戒不掉
你应该明了
你应该知道
疯了疯了睡不着
你的笑有多美妙
我的世界请你
紧紧抓牢
你的爱到底多少
我也不知道
你应该明了
你一定都知道
疯了疯了睡不着
你的笑有多美妙
我的世界请你
紧紧抓牢
你的爱到底多少
我也不知道
你应该明了
你一定都知道

REALLY LOVE THIS SONG :)

ON REPLAY

EMO EMO

im being stupid now. sitting at the sports complex at THIS time(7pm) when i can actually be at home now.

the reason?

cos i want to go to my aunt's house instead and stay over.
COS THEY HAVE TV.

IM LIKE DAMN DEPRIVED OF TV. there is absolutely nothing for me to do at home. at least at my aunt's house i can watch tv. i totally feel like im rotting at home.

I WANT A TV.
actually tv is good in some ways lor.

i dont read the newspaper, so i can watch the news on TV and get updated on what is going on around the world.

it gives your family something to talk about, somewhere to gather.

ERM........ ok that's all i can think about.

i feel like im such a 2 faced bitch sometime. OK RANDOM.

anyway... MEL. just read your xanga. i feel so super lost contact with you lah. im very very upset now. we haven't go out together for such a long time. HAVEN'T HAD MEANINGLESS TALKS THAT GOT MEANING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.

I MISS YOU.

poly and all schools are out to ruin friendships i tell you. THEY ARE IN CAHOOTS.

PETER don't you miss my rambling?! HAHAHAH havent catch up with you for SO SO long too. even longer than mel. STUPID BUSY BIG SHOT. cannot even go to your house and bake somemore. I WANT TO BAKE COOKIES LAH. and bathe your doggies. hahha

i feel quite empty now. just wondering why is my life feeling so meaningless.

cos im not close to GOD now? cos i don't spend my time on him?

ok i will. i will try to and hopefully see a turn.




exams are coming up in like 2 and a half weeks. im pretty worried i'll screw up this time.
NO I WON'T

COS IM GOD'S SMART LITTLE PRINCESS. im sure i'll do well if i put in my best effort and when GOD IS WITH ME.



I CAN DO THIS MAN! ohh of course to EVERYONE ELSE cos we're ALL God's little children.

:) SMILE. because he is.

golden rule

i have something i really want to blog about today. it's this topic that kind of bugged me this week.

to me, i think that there's this like unsaid golden rule between girls that SHOULD not be broken. i thought it was like a widenly known thing. I GUESS NOT.

the UNSAID GOLDEN RULE?

to not go near or be real close with the guy your friend crushes on.
i guess it's this tendency for people to get jealous, straining relationships.


WHAT IF THAT GUY FALLS FOR YOU?
WHAT IF THE GUY HATES YOU FRIEND BUT IS REAL CLOSE TO YOU?

what if?

have you ever thought of your friend's feelings? if it was another girl whom your friend doesn't even know, it wouldn't hurt her that bad.

BUT THIS PERSON IS HER FRIEND.

WHO KNOWS SHE LIKE HIM.

use your heart to think the next time you hit on a guy.
sort of a message to a particular person.

absolutely doesn't concern me in the picture. but just feel angry on the behalf of someone else. even though that someone isn't.