CRAZY LIFE

i haven't updated in quite a while cos it's all just ranting of fustrations.

basically, had 2 test this week f&b and comm skills. BOTH WAS BAD. gosh i need to work DAMN hard for my exams. OR ELSE I'LL DIE.

anyway i got such a shocking news. those who know where i work, i got a collegue, also a part timer that i always work with. SHE GOT BANNED FROM WHERE I WORK. and for what reasons?

cos she got caught using her phone in the STAFF lift AFTER WORK by the GM. im not naming any places or name here in case got problems. BUT what the hell lah. it's after work lor. what the hell do you want right.

IF I COULD I SHOUT IN THE GM'S EAR. I WOULD. what the hell lah. work's over lor.

BREAKING APART

IM GONNA BREAK DOWN AND CRY ANY MOMENT. why is it SO tough. i know it's partly my fault also. but still. after like almost 2/3 months i still cant adapt. i still feel like im screwing up.

I HATE MY LIFE.
I HATE ME

WHOOOOOOOO connect echo has taken place. damn.. but the separating part :(



anyway guess what. the moment step into wow hall, i see SAMSON. ok i never blogged about him but he's this kid that WHOLE day like to disturb me. he finds it amusing. and as you can guess...... he started disturbing me.



TAKE MY PHONE
TAKE MY WALLET
TAKE MY SLIPPERS
TAKE MY BAG
TAKE THE THINGS IN MY WALLET THEN RETURN ME MY EMPTY WALLET



it was crazy ok. like a maniac screaming at him trying to get him to return my stuff... eventually it's like CONNECT CAMP REPLAY.



hahha but i really feel at home with connect camp peeps.



OHH and i like my group. hahha every fun lor. we are the Js. hahah cos our group got a lot of pple with names starting with J and JESUS. hahha i love the 'longest' game. HAHAH my hair which is usually of not much good use since it's so DRY, was actually of some use today. HAHAHH cos of the length. *look like a crazy idiot pull hair from both sides of head* hahah but FUN FUN FUN.



ohh the loudhailers have a tradition.

TO ATTACK SHAUN WITH OUR VOICE THE MOMENT WE ARE GATHERED AND SEE HIM.

i added law in to. HAHHA ohh and shaun has his own 'shield' hahha his *CLURCK* thing. lousy lah compared to our voices :)



OHHHH guess what. SAMSON can be nice too. hahha he actually bought me a can of drink when i was busy whining to get others to give me some of their drink/ treat me to one. hahah i didn't ask him lor.



got this very sweet video that one lecturer showed during lecture. DAMN CUTE LOR

hahah im such a smart girl i think

HAHAHHAHA i know alot of you are like NOOOOO

anyway.. this is my busy week man.. this calander excludes meal times and the time i need to study for my upcoming class test and travelling time :(

i hope you can actually see it. NICOLE, MINYI, ZHI WEI, SARAH!!! here's your schedule. HAHHA tried sending but it failed pathetically. hahah. OHH the most impt part.

and

WHOOOO hahah i still think im so smart.. hahha CONNECT ECHO IS TMR. how exciting. CANT WAIT TO SEE EVERYONEEE :)

updates

this week has been relatively good.

GOD works in wonderful ways. ways that you can never imagine.
i can never keep track on the projects i have to do and all the datelines. on friday night however, as random as it can get, i suddenly remembered that i have RHT project due today. but at that point of time i was damn sleepy so i just thought 'damn. i'll just go to sentosa after the lunch meeting with sec friends.' and i just fell asleep. the next morning, i PULLED myself out of bed and called my other grp mates to remind them about the project and told them that i was going to senota at 4. then.. when it came to telling nicole, she was like mad at me.

then came a BIGG arguement.

when we were on the way to sentosa we didnt't talk at all. but when we slipt ways to start on our surveys, both of us paired up and we HAD to talk. haahha but everything turned out fine after we talked.

SENTOSA IS DAMN NICE LAH. i havent been there for such a long time.. I WANNA GO BACK THERE TO PLAY.

ohhh im quite happy. i saw my grade for intHT project. the one on NYNY and i got B+ :) im a happy girl. at least it wasnt the worst i had imagine.

and comm skills project is done.. we managed to fix our F&B and now just macroecons. YAY. OHHHHH still got RHT and F&B test.. so much but i finally feel what it's like to have GOD in control. it's just good.

TENNIS IN TP

GUESS WHO'S HERE BESIDE ME IN TP?

NICOLE CHOW. imagine her in tp lah.. hahha so rare right. but she didnt come for me lah obviously. hahah she came for TENNIS. and now she's ignoring me for tennis even though im like staying FOR HER. IM SO NICE CAN.

today was really not a very good day for me. it's like as though everyone was releasing stress out on me. im just thinking too much but it's a girl's instinct thing lah.. and not to mention the out of sight out of mind thing didn't work out today although it's suppose to work out since i didn't see him.

im gonna go crazy at this rate.

anyway.... F&B was scary today.. hahah mr chia is like always moody at the start of the day. and saying moody, IT'S REALLY SCARY. but it always gets better with time. HAHAH and the PBL went well.. he was alot better than ms mariah telling us our mistakes guiding us back to the right track. THANK YOU SO MUCH. it makes me feel less stressed out.

i just realised im really quite tennis dumb. HAHAH i have absolutely no idea what the hell they are talking about sometimes.

BETTER OFF ALONE

great song i think. she has SUCH a great voice.

it really hurts

it hurts so bad.
even though i have no idea. it's that uncertainty that kills me.
i wish i never knew him. it'll be a hell lot better

out of sight out of mind----FAILED

mission out of sight out of mind failed.
HOWHOW?

anyway, today marks the last day of APEL. it was the most lively lesson lah. we had to present the eulogy we wrote for ourselves. so this was mine. didn't really do it properly cos had to rush so that i could start discussing F&B project.

so if i die. this is what i hope to hear. hahah

grace was a capable women, able to handle both work life and family life, being sucessful in work and also family oriented. she was also a committed servent or God, being a testimony of God with her actions.
she has always been more than willing to help others within her means, being well liked wherever she goes. she was also a cheerful girl even in the times where she felt the lowest. she also gives a listening ear to those who needed it and bring back a smile to their faces.
she will be missed dearly by her family and friends but she is now back with the Heavenly father and at peace.

i hope this is really what becomes of me in the future :)

im so sick of afternoon lessons lor. SUPER DRAINING can. couldn't understand anything during RHT lecture and i was SOOOO sleepy. i was trying to sleep but i couldn't. then i tried to wake up but i couldn't either. so i ended up being half awake and half asleep. sucks lah... like you got no control over your mind and body.

WHOOOO gonna go collect my pay later. i hope got ALOT ALOT cos i need to get some stuff the requires money. but i hope they don't bug me to work.

OH OH i got 2 blister! one on each of my foot. at the back, you know when you wear court shoes. sucks lahhh super pain lor. one burst then it's REALLY REALLY painful. the other one just feels watery. EWWW ok. im just gonna use that as an excuse to not work. HAHAHAH hopefully it succeeds :)

DONT THINK DONT THINK DONT THINK.

out of sight out of mind

WHOOOOO hahah im with abby now! :) and she wants me to say that SHE'S THE BEST. hahah had a nice talk and crazy laugh with her over stuff. hahah she was so guai can. actually doing her work. seeing her do math and looking through her bio notes, i suddenly remembered how sec school was like and i REALLY missed it.

OHH story of the day.
i was in the rush to get out of the house cos i knew i was going to be late and i changed without my contacts on. so i wore my shirt inside out and i didnt even realise it until i was waiting for the mrt. suddenly it was like WHY I GOT A TAG STICKING OUT FROM MY SHIRT? then i check the seaming. CRAP... inside out. and i couldnt change lor cos running late then i quicking put on my jacket trying to hide the tag on the back and the tag sticking out from the side. HAHAHAH seriously all the weird weird funny funny things happen to me.

im quite upset over something but im gonna try to let go of it slowly. im sure i got God's help. OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.

OUT OUT OUT YOU GO

that's more like it :)

dreaded day..

AT LAST MY PRESENTATION WAS OVER.

THANK GOD.
even though i still cant really let go of it, i know i can't do anything to it and i have other projects to care about. have to move on.

i don't even know what to say about the presentation. i was scared out of my nerves before our turn cos kezia's grp was super confident and was so prepared. just kept reading the verse edwin sent me to calm myself down.

'in christ alone, i place my trust, and find my glory in the power of the cross, in every victory, let it be said of me, my source my strength, my source of hope, in christ alone.'

anyway there was something i meant to post a long time ago but i never got around to doing it. the last time i felt damn depressed about the project, while i was on my way home ALONE, i suddenly received an sms that was just super like a miracle can. from my friend that i haven't had time to catch up with. and that sms was from YILING! just want to let you know how much that sms meant to me at that point of time.

i just lost my mood for blogging :( im tired anyway and have to go school early for make up class. damn.

I AM OFFICIAL EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE.

AND BROKE UNTIL CANNOT BROKE.

my mum expects me to pay for what she should be paying. and not like i didn't TRY to spend less but money is still flowing away in some other form when i cut down on eating. DAMN IT. i am super super duper not looking forward to tmr. that damn presentation. i just want to get it done and over with. i want to do well but i highly doubt so.

GOD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO PULL THROUGH AND THE COURAGE TO FACE IT
i really really need it. not just for that presentation, for my life.

i really really really need to organise my life. i dunno what the hell is happening to me. too overwhelmed with happenings of my life? it's like everyday is a drama for me. let's just recap what happened this morning

i slept at 430 this morning after washing up from work. was deciding whether to sleep or just stay awake till morning but i was TOO tired so i slept. i set my alarm at 7 BUT i woke up only at 1045 with a phone call of my friend.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING AT HOME AT THIS TIME ON A MONDAY? im suppose to be in school having a boring lecture. i was so angry with myself. this is like the 2nd time i didn't go for macroecons and happens that these topics are quite complicated. I AM SUCH A IDIOT. then i had to reach school asap cos i had to attend the grp discussion for our presentation tmr. but you know considering i stay at the other end of singapore and the long time i need to get out of the house, i decided to take a cab to buy back time that i wasted through sleeping. i took $10 from my sister without telling her(which i feel damn bad for but i really had no more money) and took the cab. HEARTPAIN you know. the meter jump so fast and ionly had $17 on me. i was desperately praying that it would stop at $17 but it went up to $20. so i asked clement if he was free to come and save me. HAHAH in case the uncle was unreasonable over that few dollars. happened that the uncle was damn nice to let me off after i emptied my whole wallet.

SO I WAS REALLY BROKE
and i havent even ate or drank anything.
and i just started on the project.
WORK TAKES MIND OFF HUNGER.
anyhow, i managed to tahan until 4 on an empty stomach.
HOW PRO RIGHT. then i had no choice but to borrow money from nicole. I HATE BORROWING MONEY.

MONEY SUCKS.
yes it really does.
the way it tries to kill me.

SO THAT WAS MY MORNING. how drama.

let me be a bit happier.

hahah ok. lets see what good things i have done these few days.
i........... skipped a total of 750 times. so i've made some organisation donate 75 bowls of rice:)
i........... learnt to give up my seat to those who need it more
i........... started to take notes during sermon
i........... decided to start a prayer book. HAHHA my own lah. to thank HIM if he answered my prayers
i........... got a new laptop
i........... finished my project
i........... CUT DOWN ON SPENDING SO MUCH ON FOOOD

my week was good on the bright side.
let's.......... just look at that only how bout that.

NOOOO i need to complain

ok. SOOO for the record. i got 2 classes cancelled in one week. at the last min. ***CLAPS*** who can get luckier than me man. and GUESS WHAT. i wasn't even informed EVEN when they knew i stay the furtherest and they knew it like super early.

i felt so left out that moment. those that i trusted will inform me, didn't.
even when i was like practically the last person to find out, i still worried that my friends didn't know.

then who cared about me?

you're all gonna find me in a depressed state soon.

i find that all my friends are drifting away. friends are suppose to make the effort to compromise aren't they? why is it that i am always the one compromising?


i can't wait till i find that someone who can be there for me no matter what. I NEED THAT

oh on a happier note. i got an A for macroecons and 33/40 for POM. dunno what grade is that and i can't be bothered to go find out how to calculate it. YAY but still academics is just academics. i need my life.

SIGHHHHHHH :(