I have alot alot alot alot of things to say. This week was really crap and alot of things happened.
It was an emotional rollercoaster.

First let me just talk about something that got me really really upset.

Ok you know how i always hit people. I honestly don't know why i do that but it's just something i can't control. And to me it's like if i deem myself to be an okay friend and we are quite close to joke around and stuff, i'll hit you. Not meant as to purposely hurt you or whatsoever but just a friendly thing that i do. I mean if i don't talk to you about that much stuff, i probably won't hit you.

And another thing you would have noticed if you eat with me. I tend to try other people's food and don't mind sharing food cos it just makes food taste better when you do that. For me that is lah. BUT I at least have basic manners ok. Even if I don't verbally ask if i can have some, my fork will hover halfway before taking a bit of your food. If you are so particular about hygiene and violently object you can always just SAY SOMETHING to stop me there and then. I mean I would understand.

BUT firstly, you are a work friend and my church mate from the english side. You are the sarcastic type of guy which I absolutely hate. But because you and I have more than just work relations, I tried to tolerate it. Just keep my temper and try to talk less. Well since we don't usually bump into each other, i tend to be overly friendly. Hence the hitting and stuff. Then when we were in the canteen together, I just didn't want the awkwardness to stay. So while I tried my damn best to talk about stuff, ending up hitting you sometimes SOFTLY, you could only say more sarcastic stuff. Honestly, I was reaching my limit, then you turned nasty. All i was doing was being friendly. And how the hell am i suppose to read you with all the sarcasm? Taking your food was seen as a rudeact by you. But i did "ask" since i didn't just immediately take a bit of your food. YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING. The worst part was when you immediately started talking about hygiene and when i didn't know what was *******, you went on to say how my teachers haven't be teaching me well and i should repeat school again.

I FREAKING HAVENT STUDIED THE DAMN THING OK. SO YOU ARE SMART. OK I GET IT. BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN RUN DOWN PEOPLE LIKE THIS OK.

It just totally hit a spot in me which i have a hard time admitting to. That i forget stuff that i learn. WHICH DOES NOT FREAKING FEEL GOOD. I feel so dumb and that im wasting my time cos anyway i will forget.

THAT POINT I already gave up trying to be friendly to you. WHY SHOULD I TRY SO HARD.

AND YOU. MY FRIEND. DIDN'T FREAKING HELP ME AT ALL. OK WHAT CRAP ABOUT LIKING ME IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND ME. I WAS ON THE VERGE OF CRYING OK.

but i held back.

GUYS LIKE THAT DO NOT DESERVE MY TEARS.

After getting so angry I forgot what else I have to blog about.


OHHHHHHHHHH anyway I was so busy this week, having to carry my stuff ALL BY MYSELF everywhere I go that I got so pissed, wishing that I had A TALL, STRONG, RICH, DRIVE OWN CAR boyfriend. I got so fed up i wanted to throw everything on the floor.


So i was just joking to mel that maybe i should audition people to be my bf.
HAHAHHA

ANYONE? TALL, HANDSOME, STRONG, RICH, AND DRIVES A CAR???
Apparently mel knows one. HAHAHHA

I TOTALLY MESSED UP MY WHOLE LIFE.

Have so much in my mind I just feel like dying.

Did i ever say before i can't multi-task? I DID?
I FREAKING CAN'T.


TOO MUCH TOO MUCH.

10am to 2 am, 10am to 3pm? STUDYSTUDYSTUDY.
Consultation, report due, presentation, TEST. ALL ON MONDAY

Tell me im not looking forward to monday. Im NOT.


My posts are all so short nowadays. I want to type more but my brain can't handle it now.

I forgot what i wanted to post.

BUT ANYWAY LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I BOUGHT! (or rather what i blew 70 bucks on)

A NICE BIG BAG

















In comparison to my laptop. YEA IT'S HUGE:) hahha but it's nice.

I HAVE A BRUISE ON MY FOURTH FINGER:( wanted to take a picture of it but my phone cam is LOUSY. I WANT A NEW PHONE.

DAMN IM SO BROKE NOW. Waiting for my pay again. Only gonna get 200 odd i think. SO LITTLE:(

"Wait for the guy that pursues you, the one that makes every day seem magical, the guy that makes you feel so amazing about yourself and can make you smile every minute you are with him. Wait for the guy who shows you off to his friends when you are in sweats, but appreciates when you get all dolled up for him. Wait for the guy who puts you at the center of his universe, because obviously he will be at the center of yours."

This is what i got from a friend's blog. Not a close friend. HAHAH considering her reaction when we happen to bump into each other after our batch graduated from school.

It is the believe that someone like that exist that keeps me going.
Someday. Just someday.

SCHOOL IS SUCH AN ASS NOW. REALLY.

There's a shitload of things to do but i just cannot get down to do ALL the work. Each day, school is passing faster and faster. MID SEMS ARE SOON.

GRACE YOU ARE SO SUPER FRIED.

I HAD A BLACK OUT AT MY AUNT'S HOUSE JUST NOW.

I hate the dark more then anything. I thought that it was my aunt who suddenly decided to switch off all the lights in the house at one go and I panicked. Then after 5 secs i realised there's no such switch at home. HAHAHHA I was super panicky and started thinking HOWHOWHOW.

All the what ifs came to my mind.

HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA BATHE.
HOW AM I GONNA BRUSH MY TEETH.
HOW AM I GONNA SLEEP.
HOW AM I GONNA USE MY PHONE AND LAPTOP.

Oh yea cos i was so suay that every electronic items i own were all running out of batt. So me and my aunt were at home waiting for my uncle to come back and save the day. HAHAH AND HE DID. Felt so much more comfortable when the lights came back on.

ANYWAY YOU KNOW OF THIS SONG?
YOU BELONG WITH ME - TAYLOR SWIFT

It's such a sweet music video. GO WATCH IT. LIKE NOWNOWNOW. want to update about ssm but shall leave it for another day.

DON'T MIND ME.

This is going to be an emo post.

You know how facebook was a trend? How you had to be on facebook to be considered cool. And when you are not, people give you that weird look and keep telling you to join facebook?

Well I was one of those who think facebook was a waste of time. But still joined after numerous pesters. It was when i really had nothing to do. So on joining facebook for the first time, I didn't quite get the hang of it. It was so WOAH. Infomation overload man. After a while, like how typically i would get bored of things, I got bored of facebook and explored it lesser, wasting less time on it.

Now I realise how even a a popular tool like facebook can't really help you to maintain relationships. It just lets you look into your friend's life from afar. AND IT SUCKS. It becomes SO OBVIOUS.

It just makes me think what the hell have I been doing. Why am i working so hard for the $$$? What is my life about now? Everyone has moved on for quite a distance, for the better. How about you? I guess I haven't been able to face it all. Im just so superficial now.


I CAN'T FREAKING STAND YOU GRACE LIM CI EN.


It's hard to get back to who i am.
wait.

Just who the hell am I?